I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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