But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
