I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
