We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
