hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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