I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
we're making bets on your personal life
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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