I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
