Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
