I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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