Kiss
Puke
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
