By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
