It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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