I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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