Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
