that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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