You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
