Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
