i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
