i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
