I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
either way he was missing a nipple.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
My Sexting was not on an AP level
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
