bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize