Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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