So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
