I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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