listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Randomize
