you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
