i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
