I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
