The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
