if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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