roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize