Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
