you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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