Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
