This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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