i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
