Yo dont text me then not text me
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
