I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
