...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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