member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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