Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
