do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
no you cant smoke seaweed
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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