I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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