Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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