I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
