hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
