She is in my trunk
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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