i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
