Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
