it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
