So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
