She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
