porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize