I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize