no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
