They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
