Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
