you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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