Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize