no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize