This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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