Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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